With the overall rise in loneliness rates in American now coupled with the increase in self-imposed quarantines, there’s an unfortunate likelihood that the rates of loneliness and social isolation will be increasing faster in the coming weeks and months.

The solution?

Creative methods of connection. One idea that came to me when I laid down to sleep last night (that’s always when my mind wants to brainstorm) was the resurgence of party lines. Not the exploity scammy parts, but the flexible, open-ended, regularly-recurring, part.

(A quick history for those who have never heard of party lines: Back in the 80s and 90s  — ya know, before everyone had internet and dinosaurs roamed the earth —  there were these things called party lines. It was massive group phone call that anyone could join. They were aimed at bored, lonely young people who wanted to talk to other people. It was scammy as hell.

They’d gave you the first few minutes for free and then you’d have to call back using an expensive 900 number to keep participating in the call. Party lines exploited a ton of young people whose parents had to pay for the expensive per-minute fees; lots of lawsuits followed. They were totally fraudulent scams and their design preyed on a real human need: connection.)

Party lines went viral—in those decades’ version of that term—because they provided an interactive space to meet, gather, converse, and connect without having to leave your home. They gave you people to talk to when you didn’t have anyone to call.

People will always need connection. Even when there’s an infectious virus floating around. So here’s an idea to revive the party line idea safely, for free. 

Party Line 2020

1. Book a regularly-occurring weekly virtual hangout. Select a day and time each week when you know you’ll be available, for at least the next four weeks in a row.

2. Make a list of 10 people. You can even make an A list and a B list that can fill in gaps if A list folks decline to participate. You should expect that not everyone will want to do this, and that attendance will fluctuate each week according to people’s availability. 

3. Pick a format: video call, audio call, etc. A single unchanging Zoom link is the simplest way to do this that I can think of. (And no I’m not getting kickbacks from Zoom but if they wanna kick me back, I’m open to it, call me).

4. Decide on your purpose. If that question feels too lofty, ask yourself this: “If you were a podcast host, what would the description of your show be?” Do you want this to be a time for people to share: Interesting stories from their life? Behind-the-scenes stories of their career journeys? What they learned from their biggest failures? The best money advice they ever received? Experiences of spiritual transcendence? Requests for advice for something that’s been on their mind/heart lately? You can have a different topic each week, or use the same topic for multiple weeks.

5. Send invitations to everyone. Make sure that the invitations express your purpose and highest hopes, so people know what they’re signing up for and can start to get excited thinking about it.

6. Show up every week and connect with whoever can make it. Trust that whoever is there is who is supposed to be there, even if it’s just you and one other person.

Take this idea. It’s a gift. You can roll with it as-is or modify it. Most importantly — if you’re feeling social isolation creep in — use this idea. Let me know how it goes.

Warmly,
Kat Vellos, author of We Should Get Together: The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships