How to Become a Vandal of Delight
One of my favorite classic movies is Amelié, a story about an introverted French woman who initiates a series of clever, creative, anonymous projects to surprise, mystify, comfort, and intrigue the people around her. If this sounds like your jam and you don’t mind reading subtitles, definitely put it on your list — I can vouch that it doesn’t get old even after the 27th time watching it.
During the pandemic, I read a story about a different group of mischief makers. They’re tutu-wearing gift-givers called Drinkerbells a.k.a. Booze Fairies. It’s kinda like penpals but instead of sending snail mail to each other, they drop off cocktail care packages on the doorsteps of other strangers who’ve signed up to join the woozy, boozy, doozy of a good time. As someone who recently received a doorstep cocktail, I can assure you that shocked squeals of joy are likely to follow. As they explained in their New York Times piece, in addition to booze, they also create sober and non-alcoholic packages containing goodies like fuzzy socks, washable fabric facemasks, bath bombs and art supplies. Some fairies have also organized charity fundraisers and clothing/toy drives, and even delivered meals to ailing members.
What was most moving to me about this story were the participants’ collective commitment to Delight, which is sorely lacking in too many people’s lives nowadays. (#pandemiclife). It might even feel taboo to seek joy or delight when so many people are suffering. But as @quotesbychristie beautifully illustrated in the well-known anonymous quote, “Saying someone shouldn’t be sad because it could be worse is like saying someone shouldn’t be happy because it could be better.”
The glorious irony about a project like the Booze Fairies is that, by volunteering to provide delight for someone else, many of the fairies describe getting a boost of delight for themselves as well. Research shows that acts of altruism can boost your mood and improve feelings of confidence, being in control, happiness, and optimism. Altruism can also be a catalyst for creating a kinder, more positive community when the delight-receivers opt to pay it forward. Research published in Scientific American shows that “Witnessing kindness inspires kindness, causing it to spread like a virus.”
A few of the fairies quoted in the NYT piece describe the benefits they get from gifting surprise cocktails to strangers:
“It’s hard to make friends. I’m usually shy. This makes me feel useful. It’s amazing how a little surprise can make you feel excited about what’s next.”
“This has 100 percent restored my faith in humanity. It’s the sense of not being alone, of knowing someone out there cares about you and will do whatever it takes to put a smile on your face.”
“I love my kids, but we all need a little bit of adult interaction, and this is a pretty safe way to do it.”
“I love giving people a note to let them know they are beautiful, or some encouraging words, because you never know what others are going through and this could change their day.”
Booze can’t solve all our problems, but it’s worth a shot.
If you're looking to make new friends, look for a Drinkerbelles/Booze Fairies group in your area. If you're not the group-joining kind of person (even if it's an online group), you can be like Amélie: Just learn a tiny bit about someone, then secretly devise a surprise that’s exquisitely personalized just for them.
To bring more delight to your life — and the lives of the people you care about — in a more consistent way, print out my free Delight Delivery planner. Whether you choose to gift something drinksy, artsy, craftsy, cozy, tasty, booksy, or friendly-looksy, there’s a pretty damn good chance that the world and the people around you can use it.
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